It's funny how if you just open up a little to people you are rarely disappointed by the level of personal experience and honesty that an individual will share with you. This revelation has come about over the last two years of my battle with depression and anxiety. As I have spoken about it, shared my experiences and thoughts I have been overwhelmed by the number of people who speak of their own battles and low times. Often the causes and symptoms are similar but always it's the love of family and the strength and understanding of friends that pulls them through.
There also seems to be that one thing in life that is the outlet, the action that helps maintain the equilibrium. Mine is obviously cycling as it is with many of my friends. I started to analyse what it was that made me feel so good about cycling and in the end decided it was a pointless waste of time I could be using to go ride! I stopped questioning it and started doing it. Thats what counts.
Recently a buddy of mine was telling me he was suffering a little from lack of sleep and the problems associated with that. You know, no energy, no motivation and no sense of humour. He complained of not feeling like riding and that how it was so difficult to get out of bed some mornings he simply didn't bother. As we talked more and he told me more it seemed the light came on in his head. He loves riding, maybe he needs that more than the sleep he misses to get up early and go ride his bike. I just listened. He knew the answer was there but just couldn't see the forest for the trees. When we talk to someone about things though the path often opens up before us.
As I read back over this post I see it's rambling on a little. It comes from the fact that my race and fundraising goals are approaching rapidly and after that a large part of why I write this blog will have been and gone. I love writing my blog and I can see by some of the responses that there are a few people out there who read it and enjoy it too. I've decided to keep writing it and talking about my adventures both on and off a bike, keep sharing my experiences about depression and most of all keep the connection with the people who have read and taken something away from my ramblings. Who knows, maybe along the way I might even learn to type fast!