By no means is this the kind of deep seated sadness that slapped me down and made me beg for mercy 18 months ago. It's more the lethargic, couldn't give a rats kind of feeling that makes getting off the couch hard and for me, reduces my tolerance levels to the negatives. I feel guilty for being grumpy, the guilt takes so much energy that I feel tired and the lack of energy stops me feeling as though I can work through it to feel good again. I am pretty lucky though.
With the help of family, good friends and a good psychologist I can see that the feelings are only temporary and I can get through them and regain my balance. I write about the good stuff here. The stuff like the riding, my son getting better and the good times we have as a family because well, thats the stuff I want to talk about. But I don't want anyone to think I don't have bad days. Life isn't all lemonade and skittles. It can get you down and make a day seem like a year but the trick is to grab those skittles when they are there and gobble them up. Take a swig of the lemonade to wash it down. Repeat.
